Dying

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Dying

Mr Broken.
Hey guys and gals, I have been a long time lurker of both Lou Baldin and John Lear over the years as well as this forum.

Recently I was involved in a near fatal Motorbike accident that had my right leg amputated and my left legs heel, ankle, knee amd tibia as well as the Fibula Shattered. Oh yes and I dislocated my right hip. You can imagine both my initial anger and shock when I woke up in the hospital and coming to terms with the fact I could have died instantly and instead I am back here on the prison planet to suffer!!!

Now with the pleasantries out the way I would like to say and ask a few things and would be honoured if either of you or in fact Lou can comment on this. Apparantly when I arrived in hospital I was in loads of pain initially and screamed alot and talked with my parents and the doctors. 3 days later I came 'back' in a bad amount of pain that shook my entire being with pain the likes of which I would not wish upon anyone. But for some reason I have no recollection of those 3 days immediately after the impact, even though I was quite talkative and concious?

My question I guess would be What do you think thay could have been? apparantly I told my mother that her father loved her even in my painfull state as well amd try as I might I cannot remember this, even though something like this I would definitely have remembered!

Also, My time in hospital has left me with an almost crippling fear of death now, I cry myself to sleep at night and in the morning dreading it since I feel like I have lost my chance to fo suddenly so to speak. I guess with euthanasia would this count as a form of suicide and result in my soul being sent straight back to this earthly prison.

Even the above said I have done the best I can to be good to others and myself even before I had access to Lou's info but for some reason I terrifies me that I might be forced to come back.

Thanks for your time and effort if you reply,
Yours ,
The Broken man.
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Re: Dying

willy42
wow i can't even begin to say i understand what you are going through, yes tragedy befalls us all but even when we all experience the same thing it's never quite the same. we are all different so i can't even begin to say i understand, because i don't.

i can only offer condolences from a stranger and hope somehow that it may give you a bit of levity, i know you don't want to hear it can always be worse, but the fact of the matter is that it always can. i think a big part of what you are will come out of this situation be it good or bad, or just mixing the light into grey because at least that is still something, or received as an effort of some kind.

i went through a big surgery for an asinine reason when i was really young and i have been in the spot of not remembering big chunks of time after waking up. i still don't remember much of anything but passing faces, watching the clock and the feeling of dread of not being able to use the bathroom for myself at all.  all of that pales in comparison to what you are living with now, i'm not complaining about anything i went through i just wanted to say i've been in that position of not remembering a big chunk of time. i blamed the morphine actually but maybe there was a lot more to it than that.

not remembering that pain for big chunks of time was a blessing after looking back on it, because my wife would tell me how i was balling, and groaning from the pain, which i don't remember, i am grateful for that bit, i hope there is some sort of silver lining like that for you no matter how insignificant it may seem at the moment.

you may have been able to tell your mother those things to maybe even help ease her pain while you struggled with your own. she may have been in a really bad emotional place and you may have helped her back.

as far as an early exit, if it's not in the plan it isn't in the plan, i can't really speak on euthanasia save the fact that if you are still clearly lucid and not near death i don't think it would be a very positive thing for your soul progression whatever that may be for you.

i hope this helped in some way, the best i can really do is send positive vibes your way for what that is worth. it's cliche' but all you can really do is keep moving forward and try to drop the extra baggage, it only slows you down.  though the baggage may not even be what you are going through now but something that may have happened in another time and place.


more than ever, "...  stay sound my friend."

-willy a.k.a scott
"...  eyes above the horizon, in the dark before the dawn."
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Re: Dying

Mr Broken.
Hey thanks willy for such a quick reply.

yeah for me its the fact that I have been in such pain since the accident and It is extremely difficult to have a bath by myself and even go to the toilet. Those first few days in intensive care I was surrounded with the very real reality of what people go through in those situations facing near death, besides the fact of not being able to move much added with the pain, tube down my throat and that I could not even go to the toilet was a very difficult pill to swallow.

I don't ever want to experience such a complete loss of independance and fear that comes with it as well. Thank's for your advice sir.
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Re: Dying

willy42
Mr Broken. wrote
Hey thanks willy for such a quick reply.

yeah for me its the fact that I have been in such pain since the accident and It is extremely difficult to have a bath by myself and even go to the toilet. Those first few days in intensive care I was surrounded with the very real reality of what people go through in those situations facing near death, besides the fact of not being able to move much added with the pain, tube down my throat and that I could not even go to the toilet was a very difficult pill to swallow.

I don't ever want to experience such a complete loss of independance and fear that comes with it as well. Thank's for your advice sir.

any time i just wish i could do more

"...  here's hoping you're swell."

-willy a.k.a. scott
"...  eyes above the horizon, in the dark before the dawn."
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Re: Dying

izarith
This post was updated on .
In reply to this post by Mr Broken.

Hey man, welcome,

Man what you are going though really, really sucks. But, What you told your mother might have been one of the most important things she could have ever heard in her life. Perhaps seeing the raw seriousness and honesty of your situation as you said those words triggered a realization in her.

You could have asked an pleaded to be sent back and face your current fate just for that moment.

As screwed up as it is sometimes the worst happens to the strongest of people.

Izzy.
"be excellent to each other"
_"Bill" S. Preston Esq and "Ted" Theodore Logan.
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Re: Dying

AlexDJ
In reply to this post by Mr Broken.
Mr Broken, I can only say that I hope you recuperate and assimilate what happen and I send your family only good wishes.

You should enjoy life and not seen death like a way out, I know it could be hard to see like that in painful situations but what else we can do?


I have a little 8 year old niece that before she was born the doctors detected bifid spine, she went to surgery right away after been born putting a valve on his brain to drain water, and had been on rehab for walking her entire small life,  she thankfully righ now can do much of what normal kids do, but still we has a family face healt things that come up with her but we are happy to see her she is very strong.

Tomorrow (Saturday) she is going to give the ball from "la liga MX" in the game Tigres VS Rayados at 7 pm Mexico time so anybody who loves soccer and knows what Tigres vs Rayados is can see her on tv =)

I can only say appreciate more life, death comes when it comes, do not cry for it, try to be more positive and probably you will see life a bite better thats what's lous says, appreciate life enjoy it even with the painfull stuff happens, its not about ET really or the rest of the stuff that happens.

Thats my 2 cents.
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Re: Dying

Mr Broken.
I suppose you are right, But sometimes I cannot help but feel extremely depressed about this existance. I have done my best to live my life with as much integrity as I can yet I know along the way I have fallen off the band wagon here and there and no doubt this has created more Karma that I will have to pay back, I just so desperately want this life to be the last one, When will the cycle of Karma stop, I can't help but feel scared knowing that This could just be another life to be followed by countless more even though In this life I discovered the truth but created Karma whats stopping me from creating more Karma in the next life and not finding out the truth etc so on until infinity.
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Re: Dying

AlexDJ
That's something that everybody face my friend not only you, me and the rest of the 6 billion (and more) people around earth every breath and every day. Nobody its excluded from it, whats its stoping you from creating more karma? You already know this right moment, try to enjoy more life relax, try to be with your family and friends, thats the only advice i can really give.


When you learn something you carry on deeply the rest of your lives, whatever you want to take some action knowing this or not its up to you.

I can only say try to relax and enjoy more life and i mean enjoy friends and family around you.

Thats the best advice i can give you, its up to you.

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Re: Dying

Azrael
Maybe higher beings spared you the extreme physical pain of those 3 days and pulled you out and had themselves inhabit it for those couple days and said some important things to your family.

I am sorry you have had such a horrible ordeal sounds like a terrible accident
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Re: Dying

izarith
In reply to this post by Mr Broken.
Mr Broken. wrote
I suppose you are right, But sometimes I cannot help but feel extremely depressed about this existance. I have done my best to live my life with as much integrity as I can yet I know along the way I have fallen off the band wagon here and there and no doubt this has created more Karma that I will have to pay back, I just so desperately want this life to be the last one, When will the cycle of Karma stop, I can't help but feel scared knowing that This could just be another life to be followed by countless more even though In this life I discovered the truth but created Karma whats stopping me from creating more Karma in the next life and not finding out the truth etc so on until infinity.

You were involved in a super massive motorcycle accident and lost a leg. I wish something like this does not happen to me, anyone else, and I wish it did not happen to you. But, as far as karma goes, I'm sure Superman wishes he had your luck, guy had all the money, girls, and all his limbs...sure as hell really could not use them though just for falling off a horse.

Be strong man, if you can enjoy this life what's to worry about the next?

Concentrate on recovering, go Steven Sigul on that shit, by the time you grow a ponytail, you will have learned how to build a badass lazer shooting prosthetic, causing a super hot chick missing the opposite leg to fall in love with you....happily ever after dude.

No reason to feel sorry for yourself until you loose your penis man.....wait....you still got your penis right?

Izzy.
"be excellent to each other"
_"Bill" S. Preston Esq and "Ted" Theodore Logan.
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Re: Dying

Azrael
In reply to this post by Mr Broken.
I don't think it's always about karma, it's sometimes about taking us from point a to point b with reincarnation and moving up soul wise to a better existence and all the terrible events obstacles mistakes etc that happen along the way in our various reincarnation lives is the curiculem the higher powers have chosen for us specific mortals to get that end result
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Re: Dying

MR Broken
In reply to this post by Mr Broken.
Hey everyone that replied, Thanks for talking to me I wont lie, It's been a rough journey thus far but what I know for certain is that this kind of accident has effected my body, My soul (Who I am) Remains undamaged in the sense that I must and will continue to strive to do good unto others as well as me and do my best to avoid hate, anger and ego.

Sure I might derail here and there but down here on earth that just comes with the territory and it goes for all of us. despite the past mistakes That haunt me and the more recent catastrophe I shall refuse to stop trying my best, I will be damned if I don't at least have a shot at a good life, and when my checkout time comes I can only hope it shall be painless and that when I look upon myself I can have peace with the fact that despite all the odds stacked against me and mistakes I still endeavored to be good.

Thanks again for your answers everyone.
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